Who needs six-pack abs when I've got a keg.

Slimquick, I did what you said.

* I ate more fiber.
* I took your three tablets before each breakfast and lunch.
* I cut my meals down.
* I ate more veggies and fruit.
* I drank gobs of water (even though I already do). You rarely find me without a water bottle nearby.
* I danced my tush off to the point I couldn't walk for two days and started being more active (or at least trying what with the crappy joints and all).

And yet... I. GAINED. FIVE. POUNDS.

Don't feed me crap about muscle weighing more than fat. Pounds is pounds. (A ton of feathers is still just as heavy as a ton of bricks.) Even my favorite doctor said so. (If it were muscle, and not fat, there would still be a change in the way clothes fit and the way I look. There's change all right. I'M. FATTER.)

Slimquick, I am not your bitch.